One Week More

In one week I find out if I have been accepted into the film program. Here is my creative sample:

No Guts

Okay, so yesterday I ran into three different girls that I would have really liked to ask for their number. How many did I ask? Zero. I don't know what it is, I just don't have the guts. Last night (which was really this morning at 2am) it would have been easy. I was working and helping this girl with her project and we had been talking for 30 minutes. No one else was there, she was cool and easy to talk to, and it would have been easy. I blew that opportunity. I've tried to find her on facebook and BYUs directory, but can't seem to find her.

In other news, last night I went with my roommate Tyler to Sonic and there was this 40 something woman running from the kitchen to the various cars (in the freezing cold) bringing them their food and receipts. I felt so bad for her. Anytime I see a woman in a job like that I feel bad. It seems like men have more control over what happens in their life and that if they work that job, it is their own fault. Women have to place trust in a man that he will support her through life. That doesn't always happen though.

After thinking about it, I would really like to do a documentary on her life. Not long. I would just ask if I could follow her as she goes through a day and splice together a 10 minute (or less) film of her life. It would be mostly observational, but she would be encouraged to talk to the camera about what is on hr mind. I'd even offer to pay 100 bucks for her to do it.

Why? I feel like her story needs to be heard. I feel like it would say something about the human condition and society today. It would make people more aware of those around them. If nothing else, it would help people be greatful for what they have.

Two Weeks Away From Home

I bought plane tickets the other day to go home on a whim. I wasn't really planning on going home, but I need to get out of here. This morning was one of those days where I woke up angry... I don't know why. It'll be nice to go home, even if it is just for 5 days. It'll give me time to clear my head and have some fun before I start back working and going to school full time.

The day I leave for home is also the day I hear about whether or not I have been accepted into the film program. I want that more than anything. If I don't get accepted, it will be good to be home with my family though. It'll keep my mind off of it. If everything goes as planned, I have four semesters left to major in film, minor in business, and dabble in photography (to help with cinematography skills).

I am working 40 hours this week on top of school. Luckily I feel really good about my paper I turned in today and I got a 99% on my math test. The one class I am really worried about is Humanities 202. I've done horrible on the tests so far.

In other news, I just realized my online quiz worth 10% of my grade is due now. I took it in 10 minutes without having read anything before hand and managed a 50% I'm a mess.

A Cake and Vitamin Water

So I was eating lunch in the library employee lunch room and this girl had a whole cake in front of her and a bottle of vitamin water. That's it. Cindy informed me the other day that the "vitamin water" is packed full of sugar. I just found it a little funny, albeit disgusting that a cake was being supplemented with sugar water. (I have a picture to post later- yay for cell phones).

It's April 7th and it snowed larger snow flakes than I've ever seen. Ridiculous! And this is going to sound really mean, but I almost threw up when these two students in my religion class announced they were engaged and then proceeded to detail where and how he asked her. This is the readers digest version: Temple Square: Assembly Hall: Star of David: Triangle of Trust. Yeah. If you need more details, let me know when I am not so nauseous.

General Conference

The last two days have been spent on the couch watching conference. It sounds really lazy. Ten hours in front of a screen in two days. It was really good though. I think I enjoyed priesthood session the most.

I could sense a change in President Monson. Not a change of personality or character, but some kind of change. It was evidence to me of his calling as the president of the church. He definitely has a voice of authority, even more so than before. I really enjoyed the talks he gave.

In Priesthood, President Monson said something about shedding the old self and choosing now to become the person you want to be. I love the message that the gospel brings about the possibility of change. We can become better, and it can be as easy as making a conscious decision to be better.

E-Mail from Moon

The other day I got an e-mail from a Korean missionary that I lived with towards the end of my mission. His last name is Mun (pronounced moon). He was so fun. When I lived with him he had just started his mission and I was always so impressed by his strength to be out on the streets talking to people. I went on exchanges with him a couple times and it was always a good experience.

Moon stutters. It is very difficult for him to talk when he isn't completely comfortable with you. Out on the streets people would look at him funny and say things like "what?" "Are you Korean?" "Why can't you speak?" Often times the people would turn to his companion (who was me on the exchange) and we would explain what Moon was trying to say. It was just an interesting situation. I always thought it had to be so much easier for Koreans to serve in Korea, yet in this situation, a foreigner was better able to teach in this difficult language.

Moon was an amazing missionary. It would definitely get him down now and then because of comments people would make about his speech. But he always went out and did his best, day after day.

Film Application

On Friday I have my interview with the faculty in the film department. I have to go into a room with a long table full of about 12 faculty with clipboards and answer their questions. It is pretty intimidating, especially since it will be my last chance to be accepted. I feel more confident, but at the same time, there is more on the line this time around. After this, I can't reapply.

If I don't get in, I really don't know what I will do. Film is the only thing that really interests me as I look down the list of majors offered by BYU. When thinking about reasons I want to go into film, these come to mind:

• I feel like I can make a different through this medium
• I am amazed at the power film has to inform, inspire, and encourage people to act
• I enjoy every aspect of filmmaking that I've been involved in and I know I can be happy working in film for the rest of my life
  
• It is fulfilling to think that I can say something to the world (through film)
• I need to do something that involves creativity
  

I also have a few concerns:

• Will I be able to sustain consistent employment?
• Will the hours interfere with family life so much that it could be detrimental?
• Will I be able to work with people who don't share my values and still stay strong?

After weighing the concerns I have decided that it is better that I do something I enjoy because if I am unhappy at work, that could carry over to family life. I feel that the medium of film is only expanding in its use and that there are plenty of opportunities. I think that if I did find it overly difficult to work with people who didn't share my values, there are opportunities in the church and other options such as starting my own production company.

Lots of people here look down on people going into liberal arts. Liberal Arts students are the butt of a lot of jokes here, but I really respect the people that have the guts to do it. It is not easy to go after your dream when the world defines success as money. It would be a lot easier to study business like everyone else and work in an office somewhere. There are a lot more concrete paths to take. As I've matured however, and after meeting people from all walks of life, I have a different vision of success.

If I'm happy, I'm successful. Right now, for example, I am a college student. I have no car. I pretty much spend what I earn on food, housing, and school. There isn't a whole lot to my name in the world. But I'm happy. I have what I need. The fact is, we will always want more no matter how much we have. So, I choose to be happy over insuring that I will have a 6-figure salary. If you are lucky enough to be someone whose passion just so happens to be rewarded with lots of money- that's wonderful.

I just really hope that things will go well and that I will be accepted. I have my heart set on it.