Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I've always had good friends. I don't really think I understand completely what a blessing this is because I've never been without. Well, I can't say that. I moved once and knew no one. That was devastating. So I guess I can appreciate having good friends.

My friends like me for who I am, even when I annoy the heck out of myself. They try their best to lift me up and I really do appreciate that. I don't know if I deserve the friends I've had, but they have sure made my life a lot more enjoyable.

It is really difficult for me to be myself around people I don't know very well. I really enjoy getting to know more people and meeting different personalities... it is just hard for me to open up. One reason, i think, is that I wish I were someone different... even though I know being myself is best. I have this view of the cooler version of me in my head I guess... but I can't make myself be that person. It has nothing to do with the improved me. Of course I want to strive to better myself as a human being. It is more like I wish my personality were different. I wish I loved to dance and that I was more outgoing. I wish I only spoke when I had something meaningful to say rather than just yapping about nothing. I wish I was a bit more serious or intense rather than so loud and sarcastic. I wish I were more confident and sure of myself. I'm hoping that others can relate to this and it doesn't sound completely ridiculous.

On the outside, I may appear to be this person. But ask anyone and they will tell you that that is just not the case. The facade is actually closer to who I want to be... except for the negative things people think when they see me. I don't want to be a stuck-up too-good-for-you boy from California. That is some of the things people think before they know me.

Anyway, I am just really glad that I've had friends who accept me for who I am. I don't know if I am always the best friend I could be in return- and I'm sorry for that. Thanks for being awesome!


BoGranger said...

Jonathan! You are awesome! And probably the least loud person I know. Haha! Really, you are great. We all feel that we want to be better and/or different in some ways, I think its a part of life. No one is everything they wish they were, but friends and family and most of all the Lord help us find our way and who we need to be. :-) Anyway, just know apartment 8 loves you!

Lindy said...

Thank YOU for being awesome! No, really. Sure, we all need to work on some things in order to be our best selves. But you really are amazing for who you are, and that's why I love being around you so much. For who you are now. You're pretty much the coolest. :D

Bruce said...

What? No picture of me? Fine! We're not friends anymore!

Just kidding. :) Thanks for being a good friend. And I can relate to how you feel; I think it's part of being human.

deRek and bRitt said...

Hey, you are such a good friend!!! And to be honest you are the friend that I have had the longest! Thanks for always being cheerful, fun and sarcastic! That's what makes you so much fun to be around!